Dan's tutor was named Mr. Case. Mr. Case would come to the house once a week and tutor Dan. Mr. Case had something wrong with his sight, so he had a disability himself. He couldn't drive so mom would either pick him up at his apartment and then bring him home, or he lived close enough that he could walk to and from our house when the weather was nice. He relied heavily on public transportation like buses. He was a great big guy and was very stern, but he could be nice also. He just had a demeanor about him that felt formal, like you couldn't sit down with him, joke and shoot the breeze. He had this presence about him that I can't describe, like you had better be on your best behavior, but he was nice, not nasty. We had to make sure 'Tippy Books' were put away, out of site when he came over. He always tutored Dan in his room. Mr. Case collected coins and took Dan to a coin convention once. He took Dan to the Ohio State Fair once too. He was good with Dan and helped Dan a lot, especially with stuff like arithmetic (math - it was called arithmetic back then). I think he helped Dan a lot with writing and he and my parents are probably why Dan uses such good grammar and spells so well when he writes to this day. He tutored Dan for several years. I remember helping Dan practice with addition and subtraction flash cards to get ready for tutoring sessions. I don't know whatever happened to this tutor. He wasn't married when we knew him, he was an odd sort of fellow, but he did help Dan a lot. Years later, mom told me that she thought he was a little too stern with Dan. After Mr. Case could no longer tutor him, Dan had a female tutor, who I liked much better. She was easier to talk to and more laid back, yet she did just as good of a job teaching Dan and keeping him caught up with classwork.
Dan as a teenager.
One thing about Dan, his mind is like that of a child's mind. Sometimes he's like a child of about 5 and sometimes he's more like a child of about 7 or 8. When he was a little kid, it was great. I think childhood was his favorite time. His child-like manner fit him just fine because he was a child. Like all children, Dan started growing up. He got taller and sometime in his teens, his voice dropped a couple of octaves and became much deeper. His little kid screams sounded strange, like he had a cold or something. He could no longer do his 'Stew Scream" which was more of a high-pitched whine, but now sounded more like a cough. Dan also started getting facial hair, he started growing a beard. Thus began a battle with the beard that continues to this day. His beard isn't just any beard, it's coarse, and thick and would be difficult for even a so-called 'normal' man to have to deal with on a daily basis. My dad shaved him at first. He taught Dan how to shave with an electric razor. Dan could never get it right. He would enter a room and mom would ask him if he shaved. He would insist that he did shave, but he missed spots and looked ragged. My dad would help him fix it. Dan could never get it right, himself. He would tend to go over the same part of his face, over and over again until his skin was raw and leave other parts, like on his neck with hairs sticking out. It didn't help that his eyesight isn't the best either, even with glasses, because of his perception problem. This was in the 70's and dad would tease my mom and say that Dan should just become a 'hippie' and wear a great big beard. Mom would get all flustered when he said stuff like that, even though she knew he was just teasing.
To this very day, Dan cannot shave correctly. An electric razor was just too wimpy for that coarse steel-wool-like beard of his. My husband taught him how to use a disposable razor and shaving cream and then use an electric razor. One day, he even shaved Dan, even though he said that he wasn't going to do that. My husband just reached the end of his rope that day. Dan still doesn't get it. He often has a 5 O'Clock shadow right after he shaved.Dan often has tufts of hair sticking out of his neck. The other day, a lady at Style America gave him a haircut and shaved the spots of hair sticking out of his neck, even though they don't normally shave people.That lady is an angel and deserved a good tip. Dan only tipped her a dollar because that's what mom tipped her hairdresser back in the 1970's. This is just one of many frustrations in dealing with Dan.
Dan's imaginary character of 'Echo' from the Little Miss Echo doll he had when he was little seemed to grow up with him. Dan continued to have me draw pictures of Echo getting into trouble and continuously came up with new situations for Echo to mess up and get yelled at. Dan would want to talk to me about the ideas and so we had 'talk sessions' where he would talk about what Echo was up to. Talk sessions became less frequent as time went by, but if Dan did something real nice for me, I would give him either 'tippys', a bad stuff story or a talk session depending on what I had time for.
As Dan was growing up, he didn't have any kind of social life. He had a few friends in school, but Dan didn't seek them out, he would remain in his little world and if they happened to say 'hi' he would say 'hi' back. Dan was growing up in other ways too. When I helped him clean his room, I would find the latest JCPenney catalog on his bed, opened to the ladies' girdle page. I guess that was his version of a 'girlie magazine.' I remember dad having the special 'talk' with Dan in the basement one day. Most of the time, Dan still seemed like a little kid. He wasn't big in muscle and wasn't tall, so he could get away with acting like he was younger than he really was.
He kept many of the same interests, including records, the mixer, the vacuum cleaner and appliances as he grew up. When he was old enough to use mom's electric mixer, he would make different kinds of cakes. He would usually make layer cakes. When mom went grocery shopping, he would ask her to get a new flavor of cake mix with frosting and we all enjoyed the cakes he made and frosted. Back in those days, you could also get frosting mix in a box, that you would have to prepare using the mixer so that gave him double opportunity to run the mixer. I no longer see frosting mix on the shelves at the grocery store, it's all ready-made in little cans. I like the convenience of it, but I think Dan liked making the frosting in the mixer.
Dan also had responsibilities around the house. After dinner, he and I would clear the table, load and start the dishwasher. After a while, he learned to load and start the dishwasher himself. He would also help with the laundry, though mom would have to sort it. Dan would also help dad with yard work such as raking leaves and sweeping grass clippings. I would cook dinner sometimes and Dan would always set the table. Mom made sure Dan knew the proper way to set a table.
There was one thing that Dan loved to do ever since he was big enough to do so and that was swing. We had a metal swing set which later got switched out for a bigger metal swing set and he would spend hours outside just swinging back and forth. That motion seemed to sooth him. We had to make sure he didn't swing too hard, especially when he got bigger. I remember dad having to reinforce the cement where the swing set was in the ground so that Dan wouldn't tip it out of the ground while swinging. Dad had to replace chains on the swings every so often. Mom would stick her head out the door and tell Dan not to swing so hard. Once in a while, the chain would break and Dan would fall out of the swing, but the next day, he'd be right back out there on that swing again. Dad would also have to oil the place where the chain attached to the bolts because they would squeak a lot. We now have a neighbor who's little girl loves to swing as much as Dan did and when I hear her swing, it reminds me of when Dan was little and I would hear that rhythmic squeak-squeak-squeak of the swing.
Sometimes Dan didn't use common sense when he went outside to swing. One time I remember mom yelling at Dan for going outside on a cold day, to swing. He wore his winter coat, but wore shorts. When mom yelled at him Dan said he didn't like to wear the long pants because they were scratchy. That's another thing, Dan was ultra sensitive to anything the least bit scratchy. My grandma was a dressmaker and would line his slacks with silk so that he would wear them. Dan would put together the oddest-looking outfits because they were comfortable and he didn't care about style. Of course mom would send him back to his room to put on something that looked better if we were going out anywhere. Dan had a black cotton/polyester shirt that he called his 'black washer shirt' because he wore it when he would start the washing machine. He loved that shirt and wore it until it was stained and he outgrew it.
As Dan grew older, he still loved to swing. Like I said, his body was growing up, but not his mind. Dad kept swing set in repair and our neighbors knew Dan from the time he was a baby and knew Dan was special needs, so they didn't care about his constant swinging. They were always nice to him and to us. We had great neighbors. Mom just didn't want Dan giggling to himself and acting silly on the swing, which he sometimes did. One of the neighbor girls was dating a guy who had a car that Dan liked. It was an old Ford Galaxy and it wasn't anything special, Dan just liked it. These neighbors lived in back of us. Our swing set was situated so you could either face the back of our house when on a swing, or face the neighbor's house. We just had a chain link fence so you could see their backyard quite easily. When the boyfriend would come to visit his girlfriend, Dan would situated himself on the swing so that he would face their house so he could see the Ford Galaxy. Mom, dad and I had to keep tabs on Dan so that girl and her boyfriend could have a little privacy. If we saw he was over and Dan was swinging facing their house, we would call him inside.
1963 Ford Galaxy similar to the one Dan liked so well, it's even a similar color.
1974, Dan and I in back of our house on Scottwood Road. Dan had gotten taller than me.
It was around the time that Dan was in 6th grade and I was in middle school that our mom started to work full-time. Mom had Dan transferred to a school that was walking distance from our Grandma Compton's apartment on James Road. The middle school (back then, it was called 'junior high' school) was already walking distance from grandma's apartment so it was no problem for me. Grandma became a 'room mother' for Dan's class, which was a mother of one of the students that helped with class parties and such. Since our mom was at work, grandma became the 'room mother.' Dan's class was treated to grandma's home baked goodies. Grandma could bake cookies and cakes as good as or better than any professional chef. The stuff she made was special and extra good. Dan's class really liked having his grandma as one of their room mothers. It was also nice to come in to grandma's apartment after school when she was baking, the place always smelled so good. I loved it when she'd bake bread and make cinnamon rolls. The only thing I didn't like was that some of grandma's friends, who visited frequently because grandma often would be making a dress for them, would treat Dan and I like we were little tiny kids. I was a teenager and looked younger than I was and Dan just seemed younger. It was not fun. Dan didn't like it mostly because he was not allowed to 'shake' when grandma had company. (Shaking was when Dan moved around the house shaking a rag or string back and forth while making 'shushing' sounds.)
Dan adapted to middle school('junior high'). When he started middle school, I started high school. I took the bus home and Dan was able to walk to grandma's apartment. He had a rough first day in junior high school, I remember mom getting upset with him about something related to it, but I don't remember exactly what it was. He did adapt.That's the thing about Dan, he adapts, it just takes him a little longer and there's nothing wrong with that. The school had Special Ed classes that he took and he did just fine.
When Dan made the big jump to high school, that went better than the switch to middle school. The Special Ed teacher at his high school was really, really nice. She was a real good teacher too. Dan made friends and liked high school. At the end of the school year, this teacher (a sweet lady by the name of Miss Wilson) and the special ed department took the whole special ed class on a weekend camping trip. This was Dan's very first camping trip. He had a wonderful time. The teachers took great care of the kids. Dan got to interact with others and was away from mom, dad and I for a whole weekend. This was one of the coolest things a group of Special Ed teachers had done for Dan and the other students. Dan still remembers it and the good time he had.
In 1975, our neighborhood was going downhill and dad decided it was time to move to another neighborhood. We fixed-up the house big-time with paint, carpeting, wallpaper (a brand known as 'Wall-Tex'- sounds Texan but Texas had nothing to do with it) and mirror tiles. (You heard (read) right, mirror tiles, with a marbleized pattern on them. What can I say? It was the 70's.) Then mom and dad put the house on the market. I remember one time, dad was talking to the Realtor who had come over to the house and Dan was making a big racket while playing with the buffer attachment to the vacuum cleaner in his room. Dan remembers dad telling him to "Stop playing with that carpet sweeper!" Dan stopped, but I think he thought it was kind-of funny. He still talks about it sometimes.
Fixing up the bathroom. Yeah, I know, the sink stand is red, but the house sold real quickly.
We did find a house in Gahanna and sold our old house on Scottwood Road in Columbus. This move was big, we were leaving the house Dan and I grew up in and going to a different house in a different city. Dan would have to change high schools and we wondered how that was going to go. Dan had settled in real well with high school life with the Special Ed class at his current high school.
-To Be Continued-
No comments:
Post a Comment